by WP-Dev | Mar 5, 2020 | Entrepreneur, Virtual Assistant
One of the greatest lessons in life is to listen with the intent to understand what is being said, instead of just listening to respond. The best way to listen is with your mouth shut. If you’re talking, you’re not listening! Think about it, the word listen and the word silent are spelled with the same letters! In order to be a good listener, we first need to learn how to be silent.
While you’re listening, pay attention to how what you hear affects you, not what you think about it, but how you are personally affected.
Before you respond
When it’s time to respond, consider your intention before you speak. Whose needs are you meeting? Are you trying to look smart or to be appreciated? Or is your intention genuinely to support the other person and to share your sense of connection?
We have all had those moments, when you walk away from a conversation then realise you cannot remember what the person said, wanted you to understand or wanted you to do!
How do we stop thinking while listening? If you want to be an outstanding listener, it’s difficult to do that while you’re constantly thinking about the next response.
Communication is something so simple yet so difficult to achieve. There might be times where you share your issues with someone but you felt that they do not understand you. Worst still, they reply whatever they feel. That happens because they are purely hearing your issues rather than listening to them. That is one of the issues these days. Listen to them, give them your full attention and when you listen you will know what to reply.
If nature gave us ears, it was not just so that we could hear but so that we can also learn to listen. We listen with autopilot on and with habits we have acquired where we do not want others to convince us of things we supposedly already know. We often limit our ability to listen to that which selectively confirms our beliefs.
Here are tips that you can apply to become more active in listening:
- Tune out distractions.
- STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN!
We need to train ourselves to do this when we listen!
- STOP whatever you are doing and pay attention to the details.
- LOOK at the person in the eye, watch for non-verbal communication. Slow down and be fully present in the moment.
- LISTEN It can be tempting to think about how you are going to reply while the person is speaking, but listening is not just waiting for your turn to speak.
- Do not interrupt or derail the person when they are speaking. Be respectful, let them finish their thoughts.
- Take an interest in what the person is saying.
- Don’t jump from “hear” to “respond” without ensuring you fully understand the situation or issue.
- First reflect on what has been said, and then answer.
- Wait for a response, don’t feel that you have to fill the space.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. – DR. STEPHEN R. COVEY
by WP-Dev | Mar 3, 2020 | Entrepreneur, Virtual Assistant
According to a recent article I read, women tend to credit having mentors as one of their reasons for achieving their goals. To be honest most of us have heard of successful entrepreneurs having mentors but somehow in the Virtual Assistant industry I noticed that we haven’t embraced this trend fully. This could be due to various reasons, though I believe a huge factor could be that we don’t fully understand the benefits of having a personal or professional mentor.
What is a mentor exactly?
The simple explanation is that a mentor is someone wiser and more experienced than you in a certain area, it may be personal or professional and the person may be older or younger than you. A relationship with this person helps you grow as a person, entrepreneur or Virtual Assistant or any area of your life you need to take to the next level. They will challenge you to reach your full potential, not only through words but by actively leading as an example. This is a clear indication to me that it’s important who we choose as our mentors.
The right mentor for me may not necessarily be the right mentor for you, and that’s why it’s extremely important that we make sure that we are compatible. Your mentor will often challenge you to grow and to step outside of your comfort zone and for that reason you should make sure that the relationship isn’t a strained one. Safe to say a mentor should not be a clone of yourself if you want to grow and achieve your goals. It should also be someone with whom you can build a trusted relationship and who’s expertise in their area will give you the edge to achieve success.
Who do I see as my mentor for 2020?
Let me introduce you to Jim Rohn. An American Entrepreneur, expert network marketer and motivational speaker whom I only discovered recently through a Virtual Assistant teammate of mine at VA Connect. Unfortunately, he passed away in 2009 however there are a myriad of books, videos and teachings of his available in the world of media for which I’m forever grateful. Although I can’t have him as a real live mentor, the teaching he’s left behind is invaluable. Especially for those that want to grow their marketing and sales skills.
Since 2020 is my year for improving my marketing and sales skills I am using lots of his material as growth medium. Believe me it’s challenging for me. Simply put, I’m pretty sure that selling something to your friends and family has to be the hardest sale of all. Yes, the hardest! You have to have confidence in your product or service. Remember after the sale you have to see that person, or deal with them, quite often, so if you’re selling them something and the sale goes south, you don’t only loose a sale, but you also loose a relationship. Sales for me is hard, sales for many of us is hard and the reality is that if we don’t have sales, we don’t have a business.
Take my business to the next level
I see a few things I can gain from my skills improvement strategy with Jim Rohn in 2020 and that’s firstly believing in your service or product enough, providing undoubted value, so that you would be willing to sell it to your friends and family. Secondly becoming so comfortable at selling that you can do it in such a manner that it adds value to those choosing to buy and those choosing not to still go away with a positive feeling for having had the conversation with you. Lastly for me it’s about using storytelling as a tool to build your client relationships, improve your marketing and sales vocabulary and building a business you love.
If you haven’t found a mentor yet for 2020, may I encourage you to try it? You will be amazed at the benefits in your personal and professional life. We can all do with some success!
by WP-Dev | Feb 27, 2020 | Entrepreneur, Virtual Assistant
Your Focus
With the festive season done and dusted, the start-up hype of the year settling down to the normal pace and patterns, and life getting back to the way it was before, what now as we leave the Season of Giving behind once again. Yes, many of us were in that mode, with the giving happening towards others, as well as the receiving being from others, all of which makes the Season so special in that arena, but where does that leave you now? Where does your attention and focus lie?
Others First
So much of the time, we are focussed on making sure our parents, children, partners, family, friends and even our pets are taken care of, given some attention and affection, all before of taking care of ourselves. Some of this can be put down to giving natures but a fair amount can be attributed to conditioning behaviours and in some cases guilt. Guilt that taking care of oneself first is selfish – but is it really? We are all familiar with the term that you we should ensure our own oxygen masks are firmly in place before helping others, that you can’t drink from an empty cup or many other such analogies that all indicate the need to be kind and giving to ourselves first, so that we can be of maximum benefit to others, and yet we reserve these terms for “emergency life happenings” instead of making them a norm in our daily lives
Self-Wish
I recently heard the term Selfish re-phrased as Self-Wish and that is something that really struck a chord within. A marvellous turnaround of something that has a negative connotation to something that sits in the positive realms. A wish for self that we have the power to make a reality, and even if we just say the word, we can feel the power in it. Wishes are always for the betterment of self, something that we yearn for, that we feel will make a difference to our lives.
The Art of Practicing
So how do we put this into practice. Again, the aged sayings – Baby Steps. If we are going to make something work for us, we need to make it a regular habit and practice. Taking baby steps will ensure that we don’t overdo the process and make it a mission rather than a mending. Small bits of luxury and self-care go a long way towards making up the new patterns we can form going forward, and can start with a just a short interlude in the most appropriate time of our day / night by doing something that makes us happy wherever we can slot it in. Starting with a half-hour here or there to read a book, take a luxurious bath, listen to an inspiring podcast or whatever your find invigorating to yourself, can make the world of difference.
Go on try it. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
by VA Connect | Feb 25, 2020 | Entrepreneur, Virtual Assistant
Do thoughts like these plague you – “my client isn’t cooperating and doesn’t appreciate me.” “I wonder if my work is good enough.” “I feel isolated and not part of the team.” You are not alone! These thoughts pop up from time to time.
Here’s an example of a similar situation that I was in. I put everything else aside to meet an urgent deadline, which put a lot of pressure on me. When I reach out to colleagues there is no response or nothing helpful. In spite of all of this I do meet the deadline, but the only acknowledgement is dead silence. Not even email saying thank you.
I am good at what I do, but my work suffers without input. I know from experience that confronting my boss about this problem is not a good idea – but what can one do?
You need to communicate without being confrontational. I have slowly improved my skill at influencing the people I work with over the years. Here’s what I have learnt:
Regular catchups
If you don’t talk regularly, schedule a call which aims to review and plan your work. You be the judge on how frequently you need to meet, whether it’s weekly or monthly or anything in between. Even though this isn’t a committee meeting with a formal agenda, send a reminder with the points you want to discuss.
Your own agenda
You are in charge of the meeting and you need to prepare. Do your own review before the all. Ask yourself what went well and where you can improve. List any problems you want to discuss and the solutions you will propose. If there’s something delicate to talk about I actually script what I need to say. It helps to keep me on track and tactful even though I don’t stick to the script word for word.
Give positive feedback
This is a perfect opportunity to report on your successes. Don’t be shy –tell your client how proud you of your work, whatever it is, for example that you met a deadline or figured out a faster way to accomplish a task. And don’t forget the positives. If something has improved, say so.
Discuss problems
Nobody likes to hear about problems and let’s face it – this type of discussion can become emotional. Most of us don’t talk about these things. We hope the problem will go away and then they don’t. Deal with it before it blows up in your face!
Here’s an example of a problem I often have to deal with. Suppliers submitted their invoices late and I had to ask for payment authorisations in drips and drabs which irritated everyone concerned. And I had to cope with all those phone calls and emails about late payment. The situation was inefficient and stressed me.
It works for me to suggest a solution when I raise an issue. I asked for authorisation to tell suppliers that we would not make payment until our next payment run if we didn’t receive their invoices by our deadline and it worked! My client makes payments once a month and everyone knows what to expect by when.
If you don’t have a solution to propose, ask whether your client has any suggestions.
Show that you have your finger on the pulse
Do some research. Is there anything new on your client’s website? Have you read any articles related to the business or industry concerned? Share anything interesting and relevant and particularly any good news.
You don’t have to spend a long time on this. Do a quick search on the internet just before your meeting.
What are your client’s priorities?
The last item on your agenda should be more questions. Knowing what your client’s priorities are will help you plan your work and steer your efforts into the direction they want to go.
Wrapping up
You will find that asking questions work very well for you. You will acquire useful of insights and information and your client will love it.
Above all, keep communicating. Ask your questions, be brave and discuss those difficult issues and focus on the solutions. You will demonstrate to your client that you are interested, focussed and positive.
And finally, keep it short and light – everybody enjoys a bit of a laugh!
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
by VA Connect | Feb 20, 2020 | Entrepreneur, Virtual Assistant
2019 has flown by us so fast. For some it was a great year, for others it was difficult. Last year brought a lot of challenges, and this gives me a good reason to make sure that 2020 is going to be an amazing, super year. I have listed a few tips to encourage myself and to get myself into action in 2020.
Make time for yourself, relax more!
I know that I am guilty of not doing this in the past. I will make sure that I will do this more regularly in 2020. To be effective in your work, it is important to make time for yourself… take a break once in a while. You don’t need to book a week away at a five star hotel to relax… Simple things like taking the kids out on a Saturday afternoon to a park for a few hours, or taking a break and just walking in the garden for a while, take a book and a blanket and sit outside under a tree for an hour…
Just give yourself time to reboot, do not always push yourself to your limits. Remember to get enough rest.
Prioritize better
Teach yourself how to prioritize better and how to work according to a time schedule. If you are working from your home office, it is easy to get distracted… Get a diary that works according to the hours of the day. Book out your whole day in advance. Decide what you will be doing each hour and when you will be working on which project. Write it in your diary ex 08:00 – Project name
But remember that you need to work your breaks into your schedule as well and time to pick up the children from school.
Jazz up your Social Media appearance
Go through all your social media profiles from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, even your website. Make sure they are up to date and that they have all the relevant information on that your customers or potential customers will need. Post an update regularly, even if you only post previous work you have done, a walk on the beach or a good morning post. Make sure to keep your social presence updated.
Working hours
Decide from the start, what your working hours will be. When working from home, it makes it a bit difficult to switch off from your work. Decide what your hours will be and try to keep to it. Decide when your vacations will be and book it in your diary.
Self-development
Remember that you are never too old to learn, and it is never too late to learn something new.
You can learn a new skill at any point of your life, you can even decide to learn how to play the piano at the age of 80! Don’t ever think that it will be a waste to learn something new.
There’s so much to learn on Google, if you are struggling with a new task you need to do, do no think it will be a waste to do a short course or watch a few tutorials. You can learn something new at any point in your life.
When you have set your goals, print it out and put it up where you can see it everyday. Remind yourself daily of which goals you decided on, you will feel the difference that it will make in your life if you remind yourself more.
by VA Connect | Feb 18, 2020 | Entrepreneur, Virtual Assistant
You do have what it takes! Some of the comments I have heard lately:
- “What is your new year resolution?”
- “What have you given up for the next month?”
- “Are you detoxing”
- “It doesn’t even feel like I’ve just come back from leave”,
- are just
I have found the start of 2020 quite hectic, but isn’t it like this every year?
Everything you never got to at the end of 2019, now you are faced with. There is no running away from it or leaving it for tomorrow. It’s all about the new year, the new you, but I’m finding I’m still the old me. I don’t have any new year resolutions, I am not fasting, dieting or not drinking for one or two months. I find myself merely carrying on, after a couple of stress-free days after a very stressful festive season – not any different from every other year.
A new strategy
I went to a conference this past weekend and as everyone spoke about the strategy for the year ahead, with motivating slides, I was faced with the same old same old, until the sales director stood up – known to be a bit of a left hand throw – starting his motivational speech with this:
“Who of you had a bad 2019? Who never lost the weight they wanted to? Who never achieved what they wanted to?” – as many people in the audience lifted there hands, he said, “you know who you have to blame? Yourself.”
Gasp, shock and horror. How can I be to blame? He carried on with saying, “Stop blaming your boss. Stop making excuses. Stand up and finally be the change you keep looking to everyone else for. If you are having a bad day, deal with it, decide why it went wrong and change it. “
And finally it hit me, we all make mistakes, we all have bosses who need to pull us in line when we are not bringing our A game, we all need that push sometimes to get things done. And these all have one thing in common – it’s you. You are the one that’s in control. No one else.
I am my own worst enemy
Plan, plan ahead. We all say it again and again, failing to plan is planning to fail but we never actually do so.
I make lists and lists and lists and then never look at them.
I don’t take notes as I think I will remember and then I don’t.
There is no one else to blame but myself. I am my own worst enemy.
So for 2020 I am going to take the time to grab a pen and notebook, to actually take the notes and to actually look at them. I am going to plan, make the time to actually sit down and do the task at hand. It is okay for me to tell someone to wait, to not answer that call and to focus on what I am busy on now. To not run around like a headless chicken saying yes to everything.
I don’t know if it was Gandhi, Buddha, Abraham Lincoln or Albert Einstein – they seem to always say smart things – but you cannot please everyone. Saying yes to everyone else is actually saying no to yourself. No to your plan, to your time and no to getting things done.
I tend to overflow my basket. A jack of all trades. A master of some (not none as I get them at least 80% done – it’s the 20% that’s stolen by someone else).
That is me for 2020. It’s all about me, it comes down to me, no one else. I have the power to create the year I want to have.
